We all have those moments when we’re not feeling very confident. When it is ongoing, it’s a definite chink in the armor so to speak.
A lack of confidence can create a ripple effect in your life. People who are not confident miss out on much of what life has to offer. They attract folks who want to use and control them. Because they “try to hard” to make an impression, true friends are often hard to find. In business, these same folks are quite often overlooked for promotions and job opportunities because they won’t take the initiative that is needed to show they’re capable of doing more.
If you are one of these folks, or if you just want more confidence than you have now, know that more confidence can be gained over time.
You will be more confident when you: know that you have the wisdom to do what is before you (Part 1); know that you are making the right choices and doing what you’re supposed to do (Part 2); and when you were sure of the results (Part 3). Can these three things be achieved? With the right perspective, absolutely they can.
Confidence Through Wisdom –
Decisions. Decisions. Decisions. And fear! That is a confidence killing combination. Toss in a little pressure, and you are likely to make a wrong decision or make a good decision for the wrong reasons. You may even become unable to act or make a decision at all because fear and pressure can be immobilizing.
What happens when folks don’t like our decisions or the results are not what we expected? We may feel that we have made a bad decision. Our natural tendency is to change. We’ll consult others. We’ll change our looks, our clothing style, our behavior, and we may change our stance on certain issues. We may also change our goals and objectives. We do this because we want to be more confident that we are doing the right thing, and unfortunately, we often draw our confidence from the approval of others.
When we draw our confidence from the approval of others, the result is that we don’t feel that we have the ability to make the right decisions. When faced with criticism, we’ll second-guess ourselves even as we defend our position. The real result is that we actually have a lot less confidence. We may also become even more dependent on the approval of others particularly if the advice they gave us resulted in more approval. However, often their advice is based in opinion.
It’s a cycle that results in less confidence as you value the opinion of others more than your own.
We may seek more confidence via more knowledge. After all, that is better than opinion. Knowledge is a good start. But in order to make the best decisions, we need to be wise. King Solomon asked God for wisdom.
In I Kings 3:16–27, we read about King Solomon and the two moms. Each claimed the child was hers. When he suggested cutting the child in half, the real mom stepped forward to stop it. Instantly, he knew the child was hers. King Solomon was wise.
What’s this have to do with you and having more confidence? Consider the following story.
When I wrote my first book, God had to lead me every step of the way right down to the plot, and the image for the cover. He even led me to call a friend who had information about a publisher. When I was slow to pick up the phone like I had been led to do, that person called me!
The resulting book, Bouncing Beaver Discovers God, is loved by many.
Someone once made a suggestion – without reading it I might add – for a change in the plot. They thought they were being helpful. There was a time in my life that I may have considered such a thing. However, I felt that the wisdom for this book had come from God. I wrote what He gave me. The change that was suggested would have led me in an entirely different direction. As a matter of fact, that change would have meant that I would have had to start over completely.
I still pray before I write, and I depend on God to lead me every step of the way.
What I have discovered over the years is that God has the answers that I need. When I take every step with Him, I care a lot less about the criticism of men. I have the confidence to know that I did it God’s way, and I know that the results are always what God would have them to be.
LIFE APPLICATION
Seek your wisdom from God. Listen carefully. Follow Him every step of the way, and your confidence will reside in your knowledge that you did things God’s way! No longer will the opinions of others make any difference because you know that God has the right answer.
If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him.
James 1:5